Call Me and Let Me Know Where to Get Those Thighs, not to mention the hair

Huh??? Something’s not right and it’s not what you think. I’m not here to judge anyone’s sexual preference, gender identity or whatever else floats their boat.  Please tell me it’s ok to be pissed about  the fact that Bruce Jenner, tri-athlete hero of my youth looks better in a I -don’t- even -know -what -to -call -that than I do!

Really, where did those thighs come from.  Is that what running does? I don’t want to run. I do want slim thighs and  don’t get me started on the hair.  I have good hair. I had better hair before menopause. Bruce/Caitlyn owes it to those who have been women their whole lives to debut as a post-menopausal, thinned hair, cellulite ridden women. Keep it real, would ya?

I bet there are no stretch marks on those new boobs either.  I also bet they don’t sag. No c-section scars or for that matter, no scars on those legs from scraping off half your ankle when you tried shaving your legs  at ten years old for the first time.

I would have liked Caitlyn better if she showed up in mom jeans and a sweatshirt.  Maybe she could have had her hair up in a clip or a pony like the rest of us.  For real authenticity, Caitlyn, look tired woman! We are an exhausted gender.  We work, we take care of our homes, our kids, our parents and we do dishes!

Be who you are, that’s all great.

But if you want to be one of us, don’t make us feel bad for Pete’s  sake! We are a sensitive people and  we don’t like our men to be prettier than we are.

Bye bye Bruce, compliments Caitlyn,

Janie